Notwithstanding, one has to soldier on. And deal with things like this: Last week while practicing to a favourite tango of Osvaldo Cartery - "Una Vez" courtesy of the marvelous Orquesta Tipica Victor - I suddenly realized something.
I was crapping all over the music.
Maybe it was my insecurity talking. Or perhaps I was sensing the disconnect between the steps I was doing and the music that was playing. Or quite possibly it was the sinking feeling I felt as Man Yung decided to take over and merrily dance how he thought the music should be danced - without following any of my lead.
I was reminded of something our maestro Osvaldo Cartery said in the documentary "Leyendas del Tango" which goes something like this:
"Look at all the passion and effort that the composers and lyricists and tango orchestras put into their tangos. Don't crap all over them!"
Osvaldo's advice at 56:30: "Don't crap all over them!"
"Hey Man Yung," I said after I finished. "I was crapping all over Orquesta Tipica Victor. And I feel really bad about it."
"Yes, you were crapping all over the music," said Man Yung sagely. "But at least you know about it. Look at all the people who DON'T know that they are crapping on tango. They may think they are dancing to the music, they may be sprouting wise words about the philosophy of dancing well, they may even be Tango Professionals and getting people to pay them for their lessons/words of wisdom, but when they dance, it's pure crap. Isn't that much worse?"
"Oh no, Man Yung, it's much better if they don't know!" I said. "Isn't ignorance bliss? No pain if they don't know. They are surrounded by other people who have no idea too, quite willing to blindly follow the blind. You may be tsk-tsking but look at how happy they are. Entire tango communities have been formed by people delighted by their own tango prowess but completely ignorant of crappage. Get more people like me in Tango and Tango will collapse through sheer "futile give up-itus". Before we know it we will all be at home making fancy post-modern macramé sculptures instead of dancing."